You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
