dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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