Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
