I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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