i think i have two assholes
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
