I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
