farters have to be the big spoon...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm sobbing to NWA
True strength comes from lack of pants
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
