I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
