btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
