He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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