I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
