how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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