I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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