im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
