Nicole vs. Life
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
