i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize