I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
NoShamevember. You game?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
