Someone shit on the floor
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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