can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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