I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
