Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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