sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
