are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
