He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
