I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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