They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
God I need to hump something, right now.
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