Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
