We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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