I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
