Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
