Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
