this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
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theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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