Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
