dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
