I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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