I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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