Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize