I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
