it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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