So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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