U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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