He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
