he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
