She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
