Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Shame - the story of my life.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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