a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
