I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
