Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
