Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
