Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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