I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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