I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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