morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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