you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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