my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
