She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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