I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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