Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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