How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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