they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He better not be in your backpack
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
