Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
