Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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