im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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