I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
