There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Randomize
