From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I have aggressive nipples.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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