I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
