dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
