we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize