He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
